Beautiful Fox Squirrel
Although there are an uncountable amount of reasons why squirrels aren't so bad, here's just the top 12. Also, scroll down to see a humorous Letterman-style Top Ten about squirrels and birds.

Top Twelve Reasons Why Squirrels are our friends and shouldn't be mistreated:

1. Squirrels are a creation of God above and He put them here for good reasons.
Subreason 1a: God made squirrels for human enjoyment.
Subreason 1b: God made squirrels for our entertainment.
Subreason 1c: God made squirrels for our companionship.
Subreason 1d: God made squirrels so we can get a very good perspective of nature.
A parallel page to Reason#1 is here: Thank God for squirrels

2. Squirrels are not responsible for power shortages.
Subreason 2a: They are not one of the top causes of power outages.
Subreason 2b: They need to gnaw on things because their front teeth grow at a constant rate.

3. Believe it or not, there are endangered species of squirrel.
Subreason 3a: The Delmarva Fox Squirrel.
Subreason 3b: The Mount Graham Red Squirrel.
Subreason 3c: The Virginia Northern Flying Squirrel.

4. Squirrels are not responsible for home damage.
Subreason 4a: People who do not have secure roofing may have wildlife problems eventually.
Subreason 4b: The squirrels were here first!

5. Squirrels respect the properties of people who they trust.
Subreason 5a: As long as they are in your attic, they will not do any damage if you like them.
Subreason 5b: They are invited by those who like them.
Subreason 5c: An attic is seen as a cozy place to live if they can't find good nesting materials to build on a tree.

6. Squirrels are so cute!
Subreason 6a: they have big, shiny eyes
Subreason 6b: they will sit on your shoulder
Subreason 6c: if you sit quietly you can hear them nibbling
Subreason 6d: they can hang upside down by their hind feet while eating
Subreason 6e: they wiggle their noses
Subreason 6f: when two squirrels meet they shake their tails at each other
Subreason 6g: they are as soft as they look
Subreason 6h: when they go to sleep at night they use their tails for a blanket

7. People can choose to be kind to animals.
Subreason 7a: It is stubborn to hate an animal and continue to hate them no matter how much positive comments you hear about them.
Subreason 7b: Squirrels are no exception.

8. Contrary to the belief of certain squirrel haters, squirrels did not cause the black plague in Europe.
Subreason 8a: If people can't tell the difference between a squirrel and a rat, they need to start over in school.

9. Squirrels are very docile and tamable creatures.
Subreason 9a: They can be fed at college campuses.
Subreason 9b: When they take food from you, they make every effort to avoid biting you.
Subreason 9c: They could make great pets if proper housing is made.

10. They are very interesting creatures.
Subreason 10a: Scientists have been studying squirrels for centuries.
Subreason 10b: I have never seen any other creature climb up trees so fast.
Subreason 10c: The flying squirrel is a true acrobat.

11. People who know a lot about them tend to love them, and vice versa.
Subreason 11a: Squirrel lovers know more about squirrels than squirrel haters and therefore know that squirrels are NOT evil.

12. The "Top 10 reasons why squirrels must die" on the Squirrel Defamation League page are irrelevent. Squirrels do not deserve to die for the things they do.
Subreason 12a: Whatever a squirrel does, no matter how destructive, is not worth the death penalty.
Subreason 12b: There is such a thing as forgiveness that squirrel haters lack.


And now for some humor...

Letterman-style Top Ten reasons why squirrels are better than birds:

1. Squirrels don't fly around and poop all over my car right after I wash it.

2. Squirrels have much better tails!

3. Squirrels have a lot more personality.

4. People can relate to squirrels more because they're mammals; birds are not.

5. Squirrels can go up really fast without needing wings.

6. Squirrels are cuter than birds by far.

7. Squirrels will sit and let you watch them nibble, but birds fly off with the food.

8. Squirrel nests have rooves.

9. You don't call dumb people "squirrel brain."

10. Never seen a bird crack a nut so well.

The following was written by one squirrel in particular. It is not necessarily the opinion of all squirrels.
Top Eleven Reasons Why All Humans Must Die:

1. Humans are the spawn of satan!

2. Humans make power lines to trick us into thinking they're for climbing on, then zap!

3. There are too many humans! They're in our way!

4. Humans cut down our homes!

5. Humans don't respect animal life!

6. Humans are very ugly!

7. Humans run over us with those terrible... things!

8. Humans are responsible for the black plague!

9. Humans shoot us with those strange-looking sticks that small rocks come out of!

10. Humans steal our food!

11. Humans are prejudiced against us! Many feed those nasty primitive birds and refuse to share with squirrels.


Back to...